Slightly embarrassed

yes i am slightly embarrassed about the fact that my blogging attempts (or attempt) was overall a complete failure. But what did I expect I'm writing a blog about my life as a college student and i guess that includes NOT writing a blog about my college life. The semester ended superbly (minus the stress attacks and lack of sleep towards the end) and the christmas break was wonderful and well needed. Classes resume this monday... needless to say I'm not excited. I have truly been trying to hold myself more accountable with spending time with God lately, and encouraging those around me to do the same, and the road has been hard but good so far. As a result of asking God to stretch me and challenge my somewhat apathetic walk right now, I have already had a few different 'trials' to overcome. One of them is brought in the form of the ONLY living person i have actually never met but have still somehow found room to harbor bitterness towards and not like as a person in general (this bugs me the most about the situation, i didn't think i was capable of such humanness.). This person, who was brought into the sidelines of my life exactly a year ago, who i let get under my skin and cause me to have extremely 'catty' comments and a 'mean-girl' type of attitude, has somehow managed to add the exact same math class as steve. Her appearance alone in the fringes of my daily life has caused me great grief.("Oh you vex me so!!!!" name that quote.) Anyways, i have found myself responding HORRIBLY to the situation, and every time i have a moment to reflect, i find myself horrified at my lack of  grace. The funniest part is that it took me 7 whole days to realize this might, just might, be the challenge i was praying for, and yet somehow have managed to throw a complete fit about. Silly me. Also another tough spot lately is my complete lack of faith that God will provide me with a kindred spirit. with my two best friends living across the U.S. and many of the girls here being so busy... i am constantly battling the need to whine to God about sending me a good set of ears and understanding 'womanly' mindset.

now i just realized i have only transposed my whining into this blog

now i am going to end.

PS: but since i already started, school is ridiculously expensive, people shouldn't eat at my restaurant if they cant even afford to tip me, my feet are cold right now and i have to get braces at the age of 21!!!!