My project!!!!!!!!

I am fully aware of the fact that I haven't written a blog since January. But never mind that.

School has started again!

and with it have come one of the worst months of my life (or at least I think that whilst I'm in the middle of it all). There were some relationship issues (im single now dun dun Dunnnnn), family issues (feelings of being ostracized from family, judgements being cast etc.) and as a result I have lost three of the most important people in my life. Along with this has been the hormone issues my mom has been having (they have finally almost got it all balanced out PTL) which needless to say caused some stress in all of our lives. Now to top it all off, I am taking 18 units at APU, working part time and commuting 16 miles every morning to class. 2 days ago i was hit by someone right as i was entering the APU parking lot, and now have NO car and NO idea what the outcome of insurance/compensation will be. Now i want to make it clear I'm not whining (well maybe a little, very tiny bit), I just know that all of these things are important to make note of and accept as part of the journey for this semester. I understand God is still in control, and while i struggle to not feel like he is punishing me for something I hold on to the knowledge that he brings GOOD out of ALL things and even these sticky situations in months to come may merely be moments of hardship that led to a strengthening of my spirit.

ENOUGH of that.

As an English major with a concentration in writing I felt that I should try transposing some of my more interesting in class assignments into my blog for a few different reasons. To help me hone and tone all my writing muscles, and to preserve any possibly useful pondering  i put out throughout the semester. I must ask to be excused for grammar and spelling, because frankly I just don't give a darn when I'm not doing it for school. I figure i know how to do it when necessary, and when it's not... well you get the point. Also note that I do not especially feel comfortable putting some of these things on here, but alas honesty is the key to good writing and how honest would it be to only put my very goodest (that was on purpose) scribbles on here. And so i will (hopefully) be posting some form's of composition in my blog over the next semester. Grace and peace

 

scatterbrain

This morning i set my alarm clock for 8:45 am so i could go meet my friend for breakfast before my class at 9:45. Ended up she called to cancel at 8:15 so i went back to sleep, and woke up with my alarm at 8:45 thinking an hour had gone by and i was late for class! I rushed out of my apartment, drove like a maniac to west campus almost killing 2 students in the cross walk, and ran to my classroom only to find it completely dark... well class must have been cancelled i assumed! hurrah. so i headed back to my apartment to relax for a few hours, only to look at the clock awhile later to see that it was just now turning 9:40 am!!! So once again, rush to my car, speed to west campus, run up to class only to fine that class truly IS cancelled and if i could learn how to check my email once in awhile i could have enjoyed HOURS more of sleep. Thats what I get. And of course I only did the reading assigned for the class that was cancelled thanks to steve and his strange desire to watch the new reality tv show "bromance" (yes thats the one where Brody Jenner from the hills is trying to find a new BFF... ask steve i really dont know why he is drawn to this so strongly)

Slightly embarrassed

yes i am slightly embarrassed about the fact that my blogging attempts (or attempt) was overall a complete failure. But what did I expect I'm writing a blog about my life as a college student and i guess that includes NOT writing a blog about my college life. The semester ended superbly (minus the stress attacks and lack of sleep towards the end) and the christmas break was wonderful and well needed. Classes resume this monday... needless to say I'm not excited. I have truly been trying to hold myself more accountable with spending time with God lately, and encouraging those around me to do the same, and the road has been hard but good so far. As a result of asking God to stretch me and challenge my somewhat apathetic walk right now, I have already had a few different 'trials' to overcome. One of them is brought in the form of the ONLY living person i have actually never met but have still somehow found room to harbor bitterness towards and not like as a person in general (this bugs me the most about the situation, i didn't think i was capable of such humanness.). This person, who was brought into the sidelines of my life exactly a year ago, who i let get under my skin and cause me to have extremely 'catty' comments and a 'mean-girl' type of attitude, has somehow managed to add the exact same math class as steve. Her appearance alone in the fringes of my daily life has caused me great grief.("Oh you vex me so!!!!" name that quote.) Anyways, i have found myself responding HORRIBLY to the situation, and every time i have a moment to reflect, i find myself horrified at my lack of  grace. The funniest part is that it took me 7 whole days to realize this might, just might, be the challenge i was praying for, and yet somehow have managed to throw a complete fit about. Silly me. Also another tough spot lately is my complete lack of faith that God will provide me with a kindred spirit. with my two best friends living across the U.S. and many of the girls here being so busy... i am constantly battling the need to whine to God about sending me a good set of ears and understanding 'womanly' mindset.

now i just realized i have only transposed my whining into this blog

now i am going to end.

PS: but since i already started, school is ridiculously expensive, people shouldn't eat at my restaurant if they cant even afford to tip me, my feet are cold right now and i have to get braces at the age of 21!!!!